FRZ Editor's Note 12-17-2003
Since fireronzook.com has been taken down I thought it would be appropriate to post as much material from that site here as possible. The posts are dated by original publication date.
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A few of you may have wondered where we've been for the past few weeks. Well, believe it or not, with another season of Florida football in the sh*tter, we've had all kinds of time to do all those little things that always seem to get forgotten. Some examples:
Plan trip for 40 to Vegas
See how many shots it takes to get to the bottom of a bottle of Jack (can't remember again, will have to try a fourth time)
Get engaged
Write Christmas songs/poems
Watch Scarface
Purchase counterfeit North Face jackets from China for brothers' Christmas presents ($20/piece!)
So needless to say, we've been very busy. But the real reason? Well, the real reason is that with losing to FSU and now going to the second straight OUTBACK bowl, our heads simply exploded.
Think about it, how much do you think these minds of ours worked overtime when the Gators went to the first Outback bowl? (Anyone remember seeing a plane?!) Now they've given us another season of half-wit coaching decisions and a second trip to Tampa? Did they really think we would be able to handle this?! I thought about it.....I tried to write something witty....and then.....BOOOM!
Friggin' head explosion.
So what now? Where do I go from here? Well, it IS the Christmas season, and what better way to celebrate the spirit of Christmas than to make fun of others. If there was an FRZ Christmas Special on ESPN this year, I'd sing it for you. But they couldn't fit another show on the dockett, what with all the talk of Joe Horn's cell phone...so you'll have to make do with the lyrics.
THE 12 DAYS OF ZOOK
On the 12th game of the season, the Zook-clown gave to me:
12 games to many...
11 happy SEC teams...
10 lame excuses...
9 yards per series...
8 and 5 seasons...
7 deep passes...
6 JuCo transfers...
5 LUCKY GAMES!
4 blown leads...
3 HOME losses...
2 Outback bowls...
..and a bubble screen on every damn pass!!!!
Ok, so it ain't Sister Hazel-type hit song material...but hey, what is, right? Are ya with me? Anyone?!
Well, before we say goodbye to the year 2003 and the hell that it was for us Gator fans, here's a tribute to the guy they've got posing as our Head Coach. Have a little egg nog and a shot of Jack, and sit back as we all wait for Santa (or Stoops, whatever).
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE BOWL GAMES
Twas the night before Bowls and all thru Zook's house
Foley was screaming, cause he saw a mouse
The fear in his eyes was just like last season
When he kept the Zooker for no particular reason
This year was no different, just one tiny streak
Zook's a lifetime assistant...his coaching style reaks
He's energetic and peppy, he likes to yell too
Too bad his decisions smell just like my poo
I'm tired and frustrated, it's wearing me down
Do you know how it feels when your coach is a clown?
We've just scored a touchdown, our momentum is true
We're losing 21-9... hey, LET'S GO FOR TWO!!
Who thought this guy had it? What games did they see?
Don't you remember his demotion back in '93?
He mumbles and stutters, his speech is like mud
Just watching the post-game, it boils my blood
So we made a website and everyone's a fan
Some agree with our views, some hate where we stand
But we've still got you reading, you're still here for free
So thanks for participating in our therapy
Happy Holidays FRZ fans!
Ask Santa for a new coach!
